Want to be Inspired?

I’m wondering if we are in danger of over using and mis-using the word goals?  I noticed in a new year newspaper a pull out totally focused on goals, mind you sponsored by a major bank!  Fantastic to see a number of articles written about achieving goals such as smoking, weight loss and financial discipline.  However in this case clearly being used to promote a bank and  very obviously using goals as a means to connect with their customers.

When a concept like this is placed frequently in the public domain it is at risk of becoming tired and over used a bit like the word ‘passion’ was for a while.  And perhaps what irks me when I skim over the goal articles was the focus on what we’re not doing or not getting in life, the focus on the negative.  After all we all know what we shouldn’t be doing ie eating too much chocolate, smoking, not enough exercise etc etc.  What about turning this around and focusing on what we do want.   What will create excitement, energy and inspiration for us?

So what do you want to create in 2012?  Develop your creativity, develop further your leadership or communication skills, discover a hobby you would love to do, or find a career you love?

I suggest you forget about what you’re going to stop doing in 2012 in the form of resolutions and  undertakings but focus on creating  what will inspire you.  Motivation will come when you discover what inspires you and this comes from the heart.

Clearing For Christmas

Christmas is approaching and life can get really hectic.  It’s really important to ensure that any lingering chores are taken care of so that the Christmas part can be really enjoyed and you’re not worrying about those things you never quite got round to.  This week my list includes things like clean the tiles in front yard, take some dresses to an alteration service  for the hems to be taken up, give some clothes away to Hospice and clean up some untidy piles in my home.

Once those things are done I can focus on creating my Christmas activities and what needs to be done not just for Christmas day but for the weeks leading up to it and most importantly really enjoy them.  I don’t want to be juggling and being annoyed by household things I haven’t done while trying to enjoy and get ready for the Christmas season.  So make a list of those things that need sorting now, choose when you will action them, and then these won’t get in the way of you really relaxing at Christmas.

Achievements

Now is a good time to assess your achievements for the year.  It’s a really good idea to affirm and celebrate your self before exploring what you would like to achieve next year.  Set aside some time to reflect all you have done right in the past year.  Try and write down 20 things that you are most proud of over the past months.  You might like to do this over the next week and keep a piece of paper close by to write things down when you think of them.  Here are some questions to help you -

What have you achieved or accomplished? What qualities of character have you developed or strengthened? Have you supported others in some way? What special memories do you have with those you love? Once you have completed this then share your achievements with good friends and celebrate them!  Remember this is what you have achieved and you darn well deserve a pat on the back.  Enjoy your YOU celebration time.

Let’s Celebrate

After the wonder of the world cup celebrations why not keep the momentum going.  It’s so easy to get on with the mundane and forget to stop and smile and enjoy!  Do some things to keep that celebratory feeling and acknowledgment of self and others.    Here are some ideas:

1. Every day make sure you acknowledge one person, maybe a trait you like in them, something they did which deserves praise or how they look.

2. If someone has a birthday think of new ways to make them feel special.

3. Celebrate the little things.  For instance your teenager took out the rubbish without asking – go over the top in acknowledging them, dance around them, try to hug them and tell them how wonderful they are!

4. Ring someone out of the blue and tell them just how much you admire them.

5.  And remember celebrate your own successes everyday!  And how would you like to do that?  A quiet glass of wine at night acknowledging the good things you did that day, a walk on the beach,  taking yourself off for a beauty treatment?  Maybe it’s actually telling someone what you achieved and feel proud of.  I think we don’t do this enough we tend to keep these things to ourselves and not share to our good mates.

So think up your own ideas to keep up the celebration as there is much to celebrate in our wonderful country New Zealand.

Intuition

I’ve been thinking about Intuition lately how I use it and when do I miss things because I’m just not listening or noticing the cues?   Someone once said that we need 3 clues or incidents and then we take action.  I’ve decided this just isn’t the case.  I’ve really started to notice the first as well as the second time  I get a thought, or something isn’t quite right physically, maybe an incident keeps recurring or something is said to me and I react to it.  I’ve really started to listen more closely to these and whether they need to be acted upon.  I believe intuition is really helpful because if we listen really carefully to ourselves we can catch things early for instance a health issue, someone needing some support, a change in career direction or a conversation we keep avoiding.    Hey it isn’t easy to keep a close ear out.  And of course our busy lives do not help us to tune in to ourselves.   The best way is to have regular time for relaxation.  This could be in the form of reading, exercise or meditation.  What ever makes you stop and smell the roses and settle thoughts and senses.  Listen to what thoughts and feelings you keep pushing away, check them out and ask yourself do they need to be acted upon?

If you had no Fear….?

Sometimes in our lives Fear can overcome us so much that we don’t do what we really want to do.  Sometimes we don’t even realise what is happening as   our fear manifests in beliefs we have eg “I’m not good enough to do that”; “I’m not coordinated enough or sporty enough”; ” I don’t have the qualifications” etc.  And sometimes we simply put up barriers or have excuses – “I just don’t have time right now” “My family really needs me I can’t possibly go and do something I might enjoy”; “I’ll do it next year.”

When you get a hunch that you might be scared to do something a good tool is to confront it.  Try and make it your best friend, stare it in the face and find out its ins and outs.  Eleanor Roosevelt once said,  “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”

Also knowledge about what lies ahead can empower and help conquer fears.  I often find this with job search for people.  Once they do some delving whether it’s about how can they get into a job they want or finding out more about the area they want to get into, then making decisions about their direction is so much easier.  Information is power!  Remember Rumpelstiltskin?  He was destroyed once the miller’s daughter learned his name and called it out.  When we name our fears, bring them out into the open, and examine them in the light, they weaken and wither.

So what would you do in life if you had no fear?

Are we all Leaders?

I recently published in my newsletter an article on leadership. http://www.allisonfisher.co.nz/articles.htm

I had some wonderful responses to it including the response below from someone who works in the Health sector.  An inspiring message for people who don’t think they are leaders.   A reminder to us that to be a leader it  just takes some simple and real human values and a desire to make a difference in some way,  it’s not really rocket science.   Here it is -

“My team is dynamic, intelligent, caring and patient oriented.  I admire them and am extremely proud of who they are and what they achieve, on very small salaries and few resources. After a recent survey aimed at all staff, my boss told me I had a huge amount of respect from my staff – which really surprised me. She said it was because of my style of leadership – that I am an advocate for them and get on to issues quickly. Until this time, I had never thought of myself as a leader, (in fact quite the opposite) because of the things I’ve read about the attributes leaders should possess. Thank you so much for affirming what my boss told me – it’s not that I aspire to be a leader, I just want to make a difference for my staff, improve their conditions and help them be the best that they can be.”

Teenage Decisions

I was talking to a parent this weekend and she was anxious about her teen doing alot  of outside activities and not focusing on study for her NCEA level 3.    It’s a tough one because a parent doesn’t want to keep a lid on teenagers striving for success or developing themselves but on the other hand the school exams are very important. This teenager is exceptional at sport and has many opportunities to participate.  The parent was doing really well in setting boundaries around her daughters activities.  She was encouraging of her sport but also clear that it was an important year and studies couldn’t slip.  The mother’s other boundary was with her daughters boyfriend.  She always picks her daughter up from wherever she is or drops the two teens off where ever they might want to go.  No stay overs are allowed unless at a close girlfriends place.

I reassured this parent that she was doing exactly the right things and reminded her that a teenagers brain is not fully developed as yet and in particular in the decision-making area.  Therefore teens really do need guides, parents and boundaries to help them make good decisions.

Fortunately this teen has listened to her mum as her mother overheard her saying to her sports coach that she cannot compete now until the next school holidays – what a great decision!

Social Media – Does it Connect Us?

We have a continuing social revolution occurring in our society in how we communicate.  Ironically I’m using one of the tools I’m about to comment on!  The internet is certainly a wonderful tool. Internet and Social Media ensures communication is quick, efficient, practical, global and cheap.  But how important are these aspects if we stop communicating directly with each other? With direct communication we can connect directly with someone, read others body language, hear the intonation of a voice, observe what the eyes are telling us and picking up these clues helps us build rapport and understand each other better.

What concerns me is that we are using Facebook, twitter etc as a replacement rather than as a useful conduit for communication.    There is a generation now that barely know what writing a letter means and already have  a new way of processing information.  The children born now might not find out what a pen is or what a land based telephone is they will just simply touch screen their hand-held device!

Perhaps it’s not the medium that is important but making some choices about how we want to interact with others. And some of that is about personality style.  Some people I talk to do not want to spend a lot of time on a computer, although skilled in using one but it just doesn’t interest them to spend time facing a screen when they would rather be meeting with friends.

Maybe this phase of such a focus on faceless online technology will pass, as in the next few years I imagine video conferencing will become cheaper and Skype will improve  its quality and maybe our in-house phones will all have a screen to see the other person.  But even then will technology take over from that face to face connection?  I don’t think so and I hope not.   I do believe that fundamentally as humans we have to connect with each other to love and be loved and yes now we have new ways to connect.  Let’s ensure as individuals that face to face and verbal connection continues to occur in balance with new technology.

Mermaid or Whale?

Doing the rounds by internet at present this is a real pearler!

Recently, in a large city in France , a poster featuring a young, thin and tanned
woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said, “This summer, do you want to be a mermaid or a whale?”

A middle-aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of
the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the
gym.

 To Whom It May Concern,
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious
humans.)  They have an active sex life, get pregnant and have adorable
baby whales.  They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves
with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like
Patagonia , the Bering Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia .  Whales are
wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible
creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved,
protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.

Mermaids don’t exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside
the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to an identity crisis.  Fish or
human?
They don’t have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them,
not to mention how could they have sex? Just look at them … where is IT?
Therefore, they don’t have kids either.  Not to mention, who wants to get
close to a girl who smells like a fish store?

The choice is perfectly clear to me: I want to be a whale.

Cushla Shepherd
Year 8 ILC
House Co-ordinator
Orewa College